He told me I was beautiful, that he loved watching me respond to him. As loving and as open and assuring as I was towards him, he was still getting rejected by me in this way, often and even more often if he would be honest about how frequently he wanted sex. When we first started dating he thought that a freelance schedule meant that I would always be available to him. He slid a finger inside me and held his face above mine, watching my reaction, cherishing my reaction. Usually I would have let myself out long ago, gone home and showered and have several hours of work at the corner coffee shop under my belt. I filled him in on the reality of deadlines and the hours of uninterrupted focus it took to produce something really good.
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